Well, I did it again. Its been another two months and no post except for some short cute updates of Adriana on Facebook. What have I been up to? Two months into the relocation I decided to sit for an exam for my career. To explain to those of you who are not my fellow pharmacists, I took an exam to specialize and become a Board Certified Ambulatory Care pharmacist. To some it may just be more letters after my name, but those letters are important to me and my plans for my career once we return home to the US. It will open me up to apply for more clinical positions and hopefully set me apart or at least at the same level as other applicants. Here is the link to the website if you are interested in what I got myself into--http://www.bpsweb.org/.
It took a lot of studying and preparation, so between entertaining and caring for my sweet toddler, being a wife to my spectacular Hubs, exploring the sights of Singapore, and studying I haven't had the time to post. So much has happened and we have done so much I honestly don't know where to start. So, I thought I would share a life lesson with you that I learned a great deal from over the past few months. God is so good and is guiding us, loving us and working in our lives even when we are too "busy" to notice his presence. This is not necessarily something related to our relocation and may not be all that exciting to some of you. But I feel the need to write about it as it is something I feel is too important not to share with my family and friends. I hope it touches you, the way it has me! After you read the rest of this post, make sure you at least watch the first two YouTube videos, to fully understand what I am talking about!
Its on the topic of worry, something that burdens many of us and has burdened me in many aspects of my life. The exam I took on Oct 5, is something I have wanted to do since 2011. Then I became pregnant (and sick) and before I knew it I was a Mommy and my priorities shifted. Before we moved, I planned on sitting for the exam in 2014, knowing it would be too difficult to study for it with our relocation and settling Adriana in this year. Well, in July all of the sudden the subject of the exam kept coming up. Mark was encouraging me to take it as he thought it would do me some good to prepare for it as I was missing my career and missing using my brain for things other than nursery rhymes. ;) Please don't get me wrong, I fully realize the work I am doing to raise, teach, nourish and care for Adriana is one of the most important "jobs" I will ever have, if not the most important. But, some of the sadness I was having early on once we moved to Singapore was for my career--that nerdy pharmacist in me that LOVES to learn. But I resisted Mark, saying how could I possibly sit for this exam, it is less than three months away and I don't know how I would find the time I need to study/prepare. A few days later, my neighbor said she was leaving the country for a few months and needed to find some work for her current babysitter to do while she was gone. It couldn't have aligned better and I was set to be able to study on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. So for two months, that was the routine on top of some weekend study sessions. On the other days of the week Adriana and I joined playdates, a Mommy group and Bible study at church and explored Singapore. Needless to say, life was busy. Fortunately for me, I did not have to travel back to the US to take the exam and deal with jet lag on top of exam anxiety. While the exam is administered by the Board of Pharmacy Specialities, which is a division of the American Pharmacists Association, it is offered worldwide to all pharmacists meeting the requirements. The day I took the exam, I was surrounded by pharmacists from all over the world, which was super cool. Yes, nerd. :)
So, one of the conditions for taking the exam was I can't stress, I can't worry. Its one of those exams that its impossible to know everything, so you have to do as much as you can to prepare and hope with the preparation and experience in your career, you will pass. I believe God aligned all of this with the exam offered in Singapore, Mark's encouragement and my friend's help with Adriana for a reason. So I decided not to tell anyone, only our parents, my brother, Mark's sister and my best friend Lisa. That way, it took the pressure off of me of others knowing if I passed/failed. So I didn't blog about it and left all of you hanging, thinking I was just dropping the blog. I did ok with the pressure of the exam until about 2 weeks before. Its normal to have test anxiety but I was suppose to trust God, that was the deal if I was gonna sit for it. I prayed and asked him for peace, but the anxiety still came (my fault). After the exam on Oct 5th, you would think the stress was over, right? Not so much as I don't get the exam results until 4-6 weeks after! So I won't know the results until mid to late November. I therefore continued to stress and worry the evening after exam and the day after, with cases and questions running through my head. Then I went to Bible study the evening after the exam and watched a series with my small group called, "Why Worry" by Andy Stanley. It was amazing how a little video of a Pastor's sermon on YouTube could speak to me. It was God speaking through him and the timing could not have been any better, it was God's timing.
The YouTube links are below. We are all burdened by some sort of worry, stress and anxiety in our lives. Yes some more than others based on our personality. But we don't have to carry this burden. God can give us peace, if we let him and trust him. I wanted to share this with all of you, as I hope and pray it will touch you and help you the way it did me. I still catch myself worrying, but I make myself watch the video again or read my Bible and its gone. It takes time to change a bad habit! Maybe life is grand for you right now and this isn't something you need to hear at the moment. If so, please tuck it away, bookmark the link, or add it to your playlist on YouTube and when you are faced with a trial, watch it and feel the power and peace God can give you, IF you TRUST him and believe in his Will.
So does this mean I trust I will receive a passing score on the exam? Nope. But I do trust that God's Will be done in my life. Yes it will be frustrating if I don't pass, but at least I learned this lesson and it brought me closer to God. If that is all it was for, then so be it. After all, in the grand scheme of life, does it really matter? No. Honestly, typing it all out now, it seems ridiculous to worry about an exam, no matter how big it is or what credentials it gives me. The awesome thing about this topic and sermon, is that this can be applied to all areas of life, safety of loved ones, health of loved ones, finances, relationships, everything. So no matter what your trial or worry, I hope it helps! Please watch the videos below. Part 2 is my favorite, but you have to watch Part 1 to get the whole picture.
I don't know all the reasons why God has led me to Singapore, but I do know now that part of it is for me to find time to spend with God, find myself in the chaos of life and mature as a Christian. Despite the fact that this is a beautiful, exciting place to live, it can be lonely here with Mark traveling and my closest family and friends on the other side of the world, asleep when I am awake. I am excited to see how I will change before we make the move back home....I can already see differences in myself that have nothing to do with Singapore, and everything to do with time to myself that I have never had before. I have worried about countless things since we arrived in Singapore--from Adriana's adjustment, to making friends and the outrageous price tags here, but with this post, I have peace and can hopefully now fully embrace my expat experience!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Why Worry by Andy Stanley
Part 1
Why Worry by Andy Stanley
Part 2
Why Worry by Andy Stanley
Part 3
